Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Three, two, one. Welcome back to the 1% man. I got my good friend here with me, danielle. CDA.
[00:00:07] Speaker B: Hello, Bertrand. How are you?
[00:00:09] Speaker A: Now, did I say it right?
[00:00:10] Speaker B: CDA perfect. Yes.
[00:00:13] Speaker A: Look at that. I'm not going to have a hard time I have a hard time with last names, so I have to make sure that I'm saying it right.
[00:00:21] Speaker B: You got it.
[00:00:23] Speaker A: If not, then we're going to rerecord. So that's always the best part.
Now, Danielle, before we begin, I want to ask you three questions so the guests can get to know you better. Is that okay?
[00:00:37] Speaker B: Sure.
[00:00:39] Speaker A: All right. Number one, if you could speak to your 18 year old self, what advice would you give and why?
[00:00:46] Speaker B: I would say know everything you can know because it's better to know than not to know.
[00:00:53] Speaker A: So you know that philosophy, like, don't be the smartest person in the room. So would that be the opposite of that, or would that be how how would that play?
[00:01:06] Speaker B: I just think it's really good. If I could know everything, I would know everything. But I think in the same sense, it's like ignorance is bliss when you're younger, it's very blissful. But I think it's really important to know things that can really help you and help you to really understand things about life.
[00:01:25] Speaker A: I totally agree with you, actually. I think it's always good, man. We always say, like, read five pages of a book a day just because at the end of the day, if you know a little bit about everything, you can have a good conversation, or you can at least you don't have to be an expert, but just be a little knowledgeable. It allows for a good conversation with anybody you meet and also just makes you a well rounded person. So. Yeah, I like that. I like that a lot.
[00:01:50] Speaker B: I agree.
[00:01:52] Speaker A: Question number two if you had to be an expert, besides being a five time award winning and nationally recognized voice talent, also having thousands of singles on the radio and then T Harve eckhart peak potential coach and besides being summa cum laude graduate of Boston University in communication and holding a doctorate degree in metaphysics.
What would you want to be an expert in? Besides all the I mean, you're already so accomplished, but what would you want to be an expert in? If you could choose anything else and you had to be an expert in that one thing, what would it be and why?
[00:02:34] Speaker B: I would just say in people, like an expert in people, because I think it's really great to know people, know how to relate to people, know how to understand people. And I think it's fascinating when you're able to bond with people and really get people, because I think a lot of people want to be heard. They want to be understood, they want to be loved, they want to be appreciated. And just the experience of relationships in life. It's what makes life really fulfilling and expands your horizon just as far as the experience of life. So that would be my answer.
[00:03:11] Speaker A: I love that.
And the reason being I love that because I love, as you said, that people want to be loved and understood, which is 100% agree. And that if you're able to do that and be an expert in people and understanding them, then you can love and you can really get to know them and what makes them tick, what makes them feel loved at a deeper level. And, yeah, deep down inside, even myself, I want that for myself. So, yeah, I love that a lot.
[00:03:40] Speaker B: Yeah, you're great. You're great in the way that you relate to people. I just noticed that from the beginning, just talking with you. I think you're really very down to earth and you just have this great way just to connect with people. And I think people really enjoy having a very nice dynamic where they feel like it's authentic and they feel like the person really cares. So you have that down path.
[00:04:06] Speaker A: True.
I thank you so much for that. I appreciate that. Danielle, that's the reason why me and you, when we first met, we talked, it was supposed to be like, maybe like maybe a 15 minutes conversation, maybe, but then it turned into like an hour, hour and a half, two hour conversation that we had. Right? Yeah, I believe I definitely. And I think you yourself are an amazing communicator, very well spoken, the way you communicate and how direct you are. I appreciate that myself, because we had a very candid conversation and you were telling me, people, I need to have my podcast, and I was like, well, shoot, I'm having a great conversation with you. I need to bring you on.
[00:04:52] Speaker B: I appreciate that.
[00:04:54] Speaker A: So, last question.
What is one value you hold dear that you believe all men should adopt to make the world a better place for everyone?
[00:05:08] Speaker B: Absolutely. Honesty.
[00:05:11] Speaker A: Okay, talk to me more about this. Why honesty?
[00:05:15] Speaker B: Because it would make the world so much better if everyone could just be straightforward, direct, tell it like it is, have integrity. Their word was good. There would be no game playing. People would just really feel a sense of security, safety, happiness, bonding, because they knew whatever the guy said, that's what he meant. And that's what I really adhere to, and I really enjoy that. I enjoy people who are like that.
[00:05:44] Speaker A: Very straightforward, very honest in their approach.
Yeah, I started a new relationship, and honesty from day one has really been, I think, the most transformational thing in this current relationship I have.
And I think just kind of coming back from deployment now, I think the more honest I am, it's more of a brush of fresh air. There's nothing to remember, there's nothing to be like, oh, did I say that? No. Yeah, I did. Say that.
Whatever it is, I mean what I say, and I said what I meant and boom. That's it.
[00:06:25] Speaker B: Yeah. And it's so endearing when somebody is like that when they're authentic and they're real. I mean, it's a breath of fresh air. It really is. And people really feel good. Like, they feel good with a person like that because it actually sends off positive vibes, and you just feel like the person is just who they are. I mean, it's really an unconditional way of being, as opposed to having to put on a front or present in a way, just to appear one way or have somebody like you. I mean, it's so much better to just be real.
[00:07:01] Speaker A: That actually goes into our topic today, talking about the modern day in terms of the modern woman and also dating. Right. And let's touch on dating first. Something that you said earlier was that games. Games aren't going to be played. But I've heard so many people say dating is like a game or dating. It should be fun. Right? There should be some type of gameplay involved with men and women. What's your take on that?
[00:07:31] Speaker B: It's totally not fun. I don't know. Because it's not fun.
Yeah. I just think there's always, like, a chemistry between men and women. Like, that chemistry, that thing that you can't really put your finger on, you can't write down on a list. You can't really specify what that is. I think that's the thing that makes it enjoyable. Like when you're a woman with a man or a man with a woman. But aside from that, I really don't know anybody that enjoys playing games unless they have too much time on their hands or are bored or need entertainment.
I just think that if we could just have some new way of relating to each other that just benefits the man and the woman. I think we could just bypass that whole idea of gameplaying and just keep it real.
[00:08:23] Speaker A: Okay. I like that. So talk to me more about that in terms of keeping it real. How honest should people be in terms of when they first meet?
What does that look like? Could you give me, like, an example?
[00:08:38] Speaker B: Sure. I think you should be 100% honest. That's my whole thing.
I hear all the time people telling me stories of meeting people, whether it's online or some other avenue, and they say this person presented one way, and then they saw them in person and they were completely different from what they represented themselves to be. And I'm thinking, like, who does that? Why would you do that? Especially if you were going to meet the person, you would think that it would be better to just be like, this is what I look like. This is my height. This is my weight. This is my age.
Start out that way. Start out on good foot, and then that way you'll be building a nice foundation or setting the base for a nice foundation of a relationship. But I think if you do the opposite, you've already started out in a way that is just not conducive to having a real good, authentic, honest dynamic. So that's my feeling.
[00:09:36] Speaker A: Yeah.
I've read a lot of pickup artist books and also dating books. They've always said men should be a little mysterious not to tell everything right away, right?
[00:09:50] Speaker B: Yeah, but when they say don't tell everything right away, I think it's more so like, don't inundate somebody with your whole life story in a first conversation. I don't think men should do that or women should do that either because it's like too much.
You're starting to get to know the person. I think that's fine, but I really feel like for men specifically, I think men really should showcase their personality just right away.
I'm thinking about now this guy that I talked to, this was a while ago, and he was very funny. Like very funny, naturally funny. I mean, you laugh your head off, that type of funny. And he was going out on a new date, a date with somebody he'd never gone out with before, and I just couldn't believe it. He told me he had to go buy a whole new outfit just for the date, like get new jackets, shirts, pants, shoes. I was like, what are you doing? And then he said to me he was going to try to hold himself back on the date, not try to really be too funny because it would be a little too much. Like he has to be proper and everything. And I just said to him, why don't you just let it just be who you are? Let it lose as far as your personality. You have a great personality. He's like, oh, maybe I'll crack like one joke. And I'm just like, you got to be kidding me. Come on, now. And I actually told him, I said, why don't you do something different? Like, just go to the date and show up in sweatpants. Like, why a new outfit? Just be casual and just see if the person likes you for you. Try that approach. But he couldn't do it. Like, he had to do the traditional dating way. So I think it's just embedded in us. Like we have to do a certain thing, put on the dating game face, act like everything's great and be very reserved and all of that, and it's just really unnecessary.
[00:11:38] Speaker A: Yeah, I actually enjoy dating, so I know a lot of people don't. I think a lot of my women friends don't enjoy dating, and I think even my male friends, too, don't enjoy dating. But I think me, personally, I love meeting new people, right, in that sense, and I love getting to know somebody. So for you, when I was asking you questions, like, all right, so where are you from? Okay, so where'd you grow up? What did you do? You tell me something, and I'm like, oh, my God, I didn't know that. You know what I mean? Like, you're a voice coach. Okay. How did that work? Right? You spent time as a peak performance coach right. For a huge person in a personal development space. Okay. How did you do that? You know what I mean? I'm so interested in learning how people got into things or became who they are. So I think I just naturally dating. It's fun because now it's like, you get to learn about a new person. A new person, right. But the aspect of heartbreak and always having to say, yes, my favorite color is blue.
I don't like coffee. I like water in the morning. I work out all the time. I think that point kind of gets boring sometimes, but the aspect of learning somebody new does get exciting.
[00:12:55] Speaker B: Yeah. And I think you're kind of in the minority, though, in that way, because I think definitely you have an open mind. You want to learn. But I think a lot of people are more concerned when they go out on dating about what impressions they're making to the other person. I think that's the difference. So I think it's a different mindset. You're coming in with a very intelligent mindset. You want to expand your learning. You really want to get to know the person. And I think we're dating mostly traditional dating is based on looks, primarily from the start. It's more superficial, and so people aren't really there to get a deep understanding of the person. It's more like, oh, I like how you look. And so, yeah, how are things? Where are you from? Like, the superficial conversation, that's really what usually happens.
[00:13:50] Speaker A: I'll push back a little bit on that, especially for men. I think the first thing, like, me, I go for looks like, if you don't look good, I just won't even approach because I feel like a person that looks good. But then if you have, like, a nasty personality, I'm like, I can't do it right.
But a woman, that may not be, like, a 15 out of ten, but she has a great personality. She naturally moves up to that 15 out of ten spot because it's like, man, I love being around you. You know what I mean? I really love your vibe, your personality.
You understand what I'm saying?
[00:14:27] Speaker B: Yeah, totally. And I think that that comes with time, because you're starting to get to know somebody, and you do it in a slow kind of fashion. And traditional dating because it's like, one date here, one date there. If you go on a weekly date, so you're not really spending that much time with the person to start. And so it's like you're kind of slowly getting to know the person. But I think simultaneously, again, if people are not straightforward and not presenting as who they are, then eventually, down the line, you're going to be like, who is this person?
This is not the person I thought this person was. And now you've wasted all this time that you can't get back. So I think that's the thing right there, that's really something that's not desirable, the wasting of time.
[00:15:19] Speaker A: Yeah.
So my take on that, like wasting of time, I see it as more of like, I found what I don't want, or maybe I might have found quality that I'm like. You know what? That was interesting. I like that she did that. Right?
I talked to a woman and she's very direct and not nitpicky, but very like, no, this is what I want. Right? Instead of me surprising her with gift, she'd be like, I don't want that gift. This is what I want. And I was like, okay, cool. It was a lot easier, right? I mean, pretty insane things that she wanted, you know what I mean?
[00:15:55] Speaker B: What was one thing she wanted? What would be an example?
[00:15:58] Speaker A: She wanted these glasses that were like, $500.
[00:16:01] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:16:02] Speaker A: Right? And I was just like, no, we're just not there yet. Right?
I was just like, that's just not I mean, I could definitely buy it and it wouldn't hurt, right? But I think in the beginning of relationship, she asked me for sandals. These sandals. I think they were Gucci sandals, $2,000. I went and I bought them. Right?
But I think this expectation that I set was like, nah, I think I set the wrong expectation, right? That's a conversation I should have had, like, hey, I know I got you this, but this is not the norm for me, right?
I was trying something new, and I was also in a space where I was making way more money than I've ever made before. So I was kind of like, okay, whatever. But kind of pulling a reins back. I was kind of like, yeah, that's really not what I do. That's not really me.
So if I would have had that conversation, I think it probably would have went different.
[00:17:01] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:02] Speaker A: But luckily I had friends that were just like, yeah, she's really not for you. Very compatible.
You guys are not compatible at all. So I think either way, it wouldn't matter if we had that conversation, I think, as well.
[00:17:17] Speaker B: But you do like, directness in a woman like that to you is something that's appealing.
[00:17:23] Speaker A: Sexy as hell. Love it. So sexy.
[00:17:26] Speaker B: That's good.
[00:17:27] Speaker A: Yeah. Tell me what's up?
I think for me, because I'm a high performer and I'm shooting a podcast today, like, my schedule from eleven to seven podcast all day, right? And then I also have to check on my cleaning company, my painting company, and our journals, right? We have our published journals being printed right now, and I need to ship some journals out today. So in between podcasts, I'll be making labels. So if I'm talking to a woman and she's having me guess how she's feeling or what she wants to do tonight. After that's, just a lot of headspace that I just don't have room to maneuver someone that's direct. It's like it makes it a lot easier for me to be like, okay, great, you want Italian or you don't care where we go? Perfect. I'll make reservations, I'll come pick you up at eight.
I'll come pick you up at eight, but she'll be ready at nine and then we're going to go to reservations at ten.
That's the way I see it.
How about you? In terms of a woman's perspective, how do you feel about directness for men?
[00:18:33] Speaker B: For men? Well, I love it. I mean this is me personally, I love it. And the thing is, when I'm direct, what I've noticed just dealing with different men, men who are indirect are very uncomfortable with directness. Like they think it's too pushy or too much or whatever it is. But for me, I just really enjoy a direct person and I think that's the only way to go because it makes things so easy.
What is it? What do you want? What do you want to do? Just like what you said.
So I think you really have to figure out when you're meeting somebody if they are direct or indirect, just figure that basic thing out and see if it's something that meshes with your style. Because if it doesn't, it's just not going to work. You want to have a similar communication style. I think that's really important.
[00:19:25] Speaker A: Similar communication style? Yeah. I think naturally the world is very passive. People are very passive. Right.
I think a lot of times we don't want to hurt people's feelings, so we feel as if when we're being direct, it's like, oh man, am I being too harsh? Right?
[00:19:45] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't think so. And I was going to actually ask you when you were saying about directness and how you like that in a woman, do you think that's tied in for men to the alpha personality, like the alpha male? Because I feel like when a man is more alpha, he's more apt to just kind of tell it like it is, keep it short and sweet and just this is what I want. As opposed to somebody who might not be an alpha man?
[00:20:15] Speaker A: That's such a great question.
I think there's a difference between being very assertive and coming off as aggressive. Right.
I think the underlining tone of directness is like, is that directness? Is it assertive where it's coming from? A place of love, right. Or is it aggressive where it's coming from? A place of selfish desire? And I want you to do this for me, so hurry up and do this, versus like, hey, watch out, I don't want you to get hurt. Watch out for this.
[00:20:51] Speaker B: Do you see what I'm saying? Right? Absolutely.
[00:20:53] Speaker A: That's the way I see it. I don't think it favors either someone that's an alpha or someone that's like, as people say, beta or a man that's a lot more softer, you know what I'm saying, in his approach.
Yeah. Because I know a lot of guys that are very alpha per se, A type personalities, but also very soft in a sense of like when shit hits the fan, they would never actually step up to the plate, you know what I'm saying?
They talk a big game, but when it comes to it, it's like, no, you've never been in arena.
You've never done the thing that you try to portray.
[00:21:34] Speaker B: Right. And for me, I will tell you, I like a man who is consistent. And so if his word if he says one thing, like, his actions should match his word. And I think with men and women as well, I mean, this came up in the recent past, the whole thing about arrogance as opposed to confidence. And I think there's a big difference. And it's like, I for myself, I love confidence. I think it's great to be a confident person. I love a confident man. But when it crosses the line of arrogance, I don't think that that is really something that is desirable.
[00:22:10] Speaker A: Yeah. Could you give us an example of in your personal life about someone that was confident versus someone that was arrogant so the listeners can really kind of deep dive and understand what the difference is between the two and what it looks like?
[00:22:24] Speaker B: Sure. I think with somebody who's arrogant, it's usually all about them. It's about me, my desires, my achievements, how good I am, just everything very self absorbed, someone who's very self focused. And I think with confidence, it's an energy as well. So it's like somebody can be very confident about what they've accomplished, who they are as a person, but they don't need to brag about it. They don't need to tell you and remind you all the time. I think it just comes out like when you're around them, you just feel this good feeling of confidence and you see again, by their actions that they really demonstrate what they are either telling you just as far as about themselves or what they're displaying. I mean, it just shows what they display, which is just a confidence. And confidence, like I said, is absolutely attractive and it's a great thing to have.
[00:23:25] Speaker A: Yeah. Actually, I remember for me, the way I look at it in terms of leadership, right? Especially because it's poor for men to be leaders and all men are leaders. But I think in terms of like a leader, that leader when everything is going wrong, there's a leader that you can look to and he's just calm and cool. He's like, all right, we're going to get this done. And he just speaks to you in a tone that like, okay, hey, I need you to do this. I need you to go here. I need you to do that. Right? And then there's other leaders that are like they're losing their head, they're losing their shit. They're like, oh my God, you're not doing this. And then I think when they start to put the blame on everybody, that's when I'm instantly I'm like, you know what?
You shouldn't be in charge.
The person can't look to when times are going bad or shit is hitting the fan or super stressful. That person should not be in charge. They can't hold it together. They can't be stoic.
That's the person that I'm like. Yeah, that's different when I see confidence versus the other side.
[00:24:32] Speaker B: Yeah, I totally agree with you. And I think somebody who is just very even keeled, even tempered for a man, I think that's very attractive as well. And I think it comes down to one thing actually, and that one thing is self awareness. When you know yourself, then you have that confidence because you know who you are, you know what you're made of, you know what you value, you know what you like, you know what you want. And so it's like that is unshakable. No matter what somebody says about you, there's no way they're going to take that away from you or take you down because you're solid in yourself. So I would say to the men, really, if there was one thing to do, be really to just try to sit with yourself and just kind of have more of an awareness about the real you, like the authentic you and what your desires are and what your dreams are and what you know about yourself as far as your qualities and characteristics. And really value that because it's important.
[00:25:32] Speaker A: Yeah, no, that is definitely very important. Could you kind of give the man some more tangible?
Not say step by step advice, but kind of help us out? Right. Because what's the best way to approach a woman? Kind of like you, right? Someone that's very successful. Someone that has a lot going for themselves. Not even that has lot, but you've done so much. Right. So accomplished, so successful. Right.
What's the proper way to approach you? What's the proper way? Is it at the gym? It's when you're grocery shopping.
So give me proper place. And then what should this man say?
[00:26:14] Speaker B: I would say really wherever the man approaches you is fine. That's okay. I think it's more so. The best thing is just to be so simple and so direct in the approach. Just be like, hi, how are you? Like something simple like that. And then you can start talking. There's no need for a pickup line. There's no need for any type of maneuvering or trying to be very suave and all of that. The best is just the simplest, totally the simplest approach.
[00:26:49] Speaker A: Yeah, it's funny because funny you say that because all the dating books I read, they give you all these topics you can talk about, right? But I think the simple approach has worked the best, even for myself, like, hey, how are you doing?
[00:27:04] Speaker B: Yeah, just how are you doing? Or even I mean, even if you want to take it to this men, listen to me very carefully. All you have to do is just be like hi.
That's it, just one word, just hi. And then just see how the women respond. I mean, if they're responding to you and saying hi back, I mean, that's great. And then you can just start a conversation and just keep it real. Just something normal. Just keep it normal. I think people want normal and grounded, like those two things. So if you can just be those two things, I think that's a great start.
[00:27:36] Speaker A: Kind of be normal and grounded would be best for all men and just a simple high seat. And then for how she responds. If she's responsive and she's talking back to you, great. If she's not responsive if she's not responsive, what's the best way to break conversation and move forward?
[00:27:57] Speaker B: I would just say if the person's not responsive, move it along. Like, really don't even spend another minute. I mean, you really should be working with people who working with people, dealing with people, interacting with people, meeting people who have an interest. If they don't have an interest, then just move it along. And I think it's fascinating to me, being a woman, how I hear all the time that men have this fear of being rejected by a woman, and I'm just like, how is that possible? Just move it along.
It's not a big deal. And the sooner that you do it, if you just started with a high and then the person didn't respond to you and you moved it along, it's so easy to get moving along to another person. That would be better for you and you haven't wasted time and you haven't had to have downtime to recover because it's just a simple opening of a high. So I would just recommend doing that and just find somebody who likes you and, you'll know, I mean, somebody will smile back at you or look receptive, and those are the people you want to put your time into.
[00:29:03] Speaker A: Yeah, I can definitely agree with that.
I think the one thing I've learned from a lot of men is that they're scared, right. Especially of rejection.
But it's like, what do I say? What do I say?
But I love that you made it so simple for us. It's like, hey, just say hi. Don't get a rejection. Right. And only work and keep the conversation going with people that are receptive.
[00:29:34] Speaker B: Absolutely.
Yeah.
You know how they say know your market, know your target market, all of that. So if it's not your market, if it's not your people, if it's somebody that doesn't have an interest, then just move it to somebody who does. And I just. Feel like also, I think with men, if they're feeling like they get uncomfortable about rejection, just think about it from the woman's perspective. I mean, women, we're concerned, like, oh, does the man think I look good? Does he like me? I mean, we're concerned with our own stuff, so we're not even really thinking about you. Honestly, we're not thinking about, like, oh, the man feels upset about rejection. We're just thinking about our own does he like me? And we're more concerned about that. So I think if men really understood that, it would be easier for them just to approach. And I highly recommend to all men, absolutely 100% men have to find the woman that they're interested in. They have to spot that woman, and then they have to go for it.
I repeat, do not get in any relationship where the woman is the one making the move. I think that is completely not the right dynamic. Like, the man has to be the hunter, and he has to have that desire. So it's better for a man to find somebody himself that he likes as opposed to somebody coming on to him.
[00:31:01] Speaker A: So if a woman was to approach me, right, is there a way that I can not say, flip the script, but if I'm like, oh, I didn't even know she was interested. Now is there a way for me to flip the script? Or the minute she approaches me, it's like a red flag. It's not going to work out. You know what I'm saying?
[00:31:18] Speaker B: Yeah. Long term, I don't think it will ever work out. I think the only way it would work out is if you spotted her initially and you were like, oh, this is a good one, and then she happened to say hi to you first or something, but you initially took the interest. I think that's the only way it will work. And I really feel like men, if you try that, I mean, just test it. Test it and see how you feel when somebody comes on to you that you're not attracted to and you have no interest in. I mean, it's really not a good feeling. And men, I know are very like, they have a type. They have a type that they like. So, for example, if you're a man and you like brunettes and a woman comes on to you and she's a blonde and she's not your type, I mean, it's like, all right, I guess you're not in it. You know what I mean? You're not in it to win it. You need to really find what you like and go after it. And that feeling of accomplishment, of finding the person for you and having your choice and achieving something, I think there's fulfillment in that as well.
[00:32:22] Speaker A: Having a choice into feeling okay. Yeah, I think that's kind of sit back and I think about any woman that's ever approached me.
I guess we haven't really worked out. It's kind of funny.
[00:32:37] Speaker B: That's what I'm telling you. I mean, long term, it's just a matter of time. So it doesn't matter. I mean, it could end soon, it could end years later, but it just doesn't really work out. The guy is not really into it. So it's like me being a woman, why would I want a guy that's not into me? I want a guy who's like, this woman is priceless. This woman is the one. Give me that accolade there and really put your energy and attention into me. And I'll enjoy that. I mean, that would be nice.
[00:33:06] Speaker A: Yeah, I wonder. Because Matthew, I think it's hussey.
[00:33:13] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:33:14] Speaker A: Are you familiar with him? He's like that international dating coach.
[00:33:18] Speaker B: It sounds familiar. Yeah.
[00:33:20] Speaker A: He tells women to drop the handkerchief, right?
[00:33:23] Speaker B: No, don't drop the handkerchief. No.
[00:33:29] Speaker A: Yeah. He says you can be flirty. You can use your eyes to kind of say, like, hey, tell him that, hey, I'm interested. Hey, look at me.
Because I'm wondering, outside of him seeing you, is there a way that women can kind of be signal to men that like, hey, I'm interested, so that way they can know?
[00:33:50] Speaker B: No.
And I will tell you, over looking back in my history and people I've dated, a lot of the times I never even noticed the person. I mean, that's what happened. I was literally not even noticing that the man was there at all. And he just came up and asked me out. So I was oblivious to him even being in the same room. I wasn't even paying attention. And those relationships actually were good because the man was coming after me and wanted to be with me and so that was that. So I would just say to a man, no matter what, don't look for any cues, don't wait for the woman to give you anything. Don't have her look at you. Just if she's somebody that you're interested in or think you may be interested in, just go for it. And like I said, if it doesn't pan out after the high or hi, how are you? Just move it along and just find somebody better.
[00:34:48] Speaker A: Yeah, man, I think that's like solid piece of advice because something is kind of funny. Before this, I was talking with Tori and we were like doing some content and we were talking difference between aggressive and assertiveness.
And I went out with a guy and he was so aggressive, so aggressive to the point where I was just like, dude, I can't be with you.
This is just disgusting. I'm disgusted.
And I told him, I was like, dude, I attract.
I'm not that aggressive. Dude, women see me. I see them and I know like, okay, I'm going to go talk to her.
You're going up to these women, they're giving you a signal of on their forehead and just says like, fuck off, leave me alone. But you're pushing the conversation to the point where even me, I'm like, all right, let's walk away. Hey, no, let's keep talking. I'm like, no, let's walk away.
Even them, they're like, okay, yeah, thank you. We'll see you later. You have to know, I think, when to approach and also when to like, okay, it's been good we've talked. Let's walk away. Let's disengage.
[00:36:04] Speaker B: Yeah, completely.
You have to have some awareness around that, too. Like, pick up on the person and what you're sensing and what they're giving off, I would say is important. But I think also, again, kind of going back to what we said before, aggressive and then confident. Like, for me, when I hear you, you give off confidence. Completely aggressiveness. It's just no, it's too much. And again, in a relationship with two people, one person is going to be the one who's more into the other person. That's always the dynamic. Never will the two people be equally into each other. So if somebody is aggressive, the other person is going to be the person who's not the aggressor, and if you're too aggressive, that person is going to run.
So better not to do that. Better to have a more moderate dynamic instead of overly aggressive dynamic.
[00:37:05] Speaker A: Yeah, I can dig that. I like that too, as well. I appreciate the compliment, so yeah, you're welcome.
[00:37:15] Speaker B: I also have a philosophy, too, for myself that I think is a really good philosophy to have. I think in any relationship with men and women, I would say to the men, you want to be in a dynamic where you freely want to be with somebody and they freely want to be with you. I mean, that really is the ultimate. You don't want to have anything where you feel obligated or you feel like, oh, God, now I have to go see that person and meet them and spend time with them, and I'm really not really looking forward to seeing them. There should be a freeing feeling in the dynamic where you both just really desire and want to be with each other.
[00:37:55] Speaker A: Yeah, I can totally understand that. I've been in relationships where I'm just like, okay, I got to do all these things.
She's another task on the list to get done. Not like an enjoyable, like, yeah, I can't wait to see my girl. I can't wait to see Shorty later. You know what I mean? It's just like, damn, I got to do this, I got to do that.
Let me go ahead and do okay, let me go ahead and send this text.
I've definitely felt that. I think that definitely is true.
But I think from your standpoint, you would say it's better for men to be more on the end of wanting to pursue that person, right?
[00:38:43] Speaker B: Absolutely, yes. I mean, any man. And again, to all the men listening, I would say if you are a natural born man who likes to just pursue great like you already have the stuff that you need. You just need to just find the person that you like or the type that you like and then go after it. And then for the men that really aren't like that, where they don't feel confident, I would say then just take some time and try to again, I'm going to use the word try, but try to build up your confidence in that arena and just know. I mean, you always hear it's a numbers game, things like that. So if you can kind of see it like that and just be like, you know what, it's not the end of the world if the person's not receptive. So what? Just move it along to the next one. Let's try again. Somebody's going to be there to appreciate me and who I am. I just have to get up the confidence and courage just to take the first step, just to say hi. And I'm telling you, it's not a big deal. Again, women are more self conscious, I would think, than the men think that they are. I mean, women have a lot of things that they feel very self conscious about and feel like the man is monitoring. So I would just say just do it.
[00:40:03] Speaker A: I appreciate that. I think that's solid advice, especially for men nowadays, especially know with everything going on in the climate of our world. And also, I think the US. I think it's so important that men hear that, hey, you can approach and use a simple high use simple hey, yeah, I think not, say dating junk, but I think all that pickup artist and dating material, when you read so much of it, at a point, you're just like, damn, you know what?
Mastering women, that's like getting a whole degree.
[00:40:40] Speaker B: It is. But actually, if you'd like, I can break it down for you pretty simply for the men, because I know men are mystified by women, but I think women actually are very easy to understand. I think it's the men that are complicated for women to understand.
[00:40:54] Speaker A: I would say it's backwards, but please break it down for us.
[00:40:58] Speaker B: Okay, well, this is actually the truth. I mean, for women, see, men don't know what goes on behind the scenes. So I'm going to share this. Generally speaking, this is what women do. I mean, if they're going out on a date for the first time, they're taking all this time to get ready. Hair, makeup, outfit, all of that. And literally, this is what women are thinking. Now remember, men, this is the first date. So even like a blind date or meeting somebody for the first time, we are literally thinking, women are literally thinking, is this the man I'm going to marry? Maybe this is the man I'm going to marry. That's what we're thinking, yes.
Anyone that tells you otherwise, they're not telling it to you straight. We literally think that immediately and then we go out on a date. So we get our expectations up. We're all excited, like, this could be the one. We haven't met him yet. This could be the one. And then we meet him, and we're like, really? Like, no.
Gross. No. And then you're like, I don't want to do this again. I don't want to do it again. And then what do we do? We do it again and again and again and again and again. So if men can just understand the mentality, generally speaking I mean, women, since we're young, that's our dream. Our dream, generally speaking, again, is to have a husband, to get married. So if men can just understand that is what we're looking to achieve, then it would be so much easier for the man to know and understand women and why we do what we do and how we think.
[00:42:34] Speaker A: Yeah, it's funny, because also, I think on the flip side, I think if you look at social media, there's a lot of bad flap that gets around, because I think there's a small minority of women that are like, we don't need men, and a lot of modern women that are just focused on themselves and their careers. But I think something I could even say to the women listening is that men don't care about your careers or your degrees.
[00:43:04] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:43:06] Speaker A: Wholeheartedly.
A man just really cares at first looks like, do you look good? Is he lusting after you? Right? Is he like, oh, my God, she looks amazing, right?
And then after that, after he talks to you, he's like, man, do I actually like being around her, right? Does she speak to my she's not saying, speak to my soul, but does she speak to me in such a way that's respectful, that makes me feel, like, wanted, that makes me feel desired? And honestly, I think with those two things, you're off to the races. After that, if you're able to do that, you're off to the races.
[00:43:42] Speaker B: Yeah, I totally agree with you. And I think that for women, what we need to learn and what we need to hear is exactly what you just said. I think that if we could take time for ourselves to cultivate personality and cultivate, like, an etiquette or manners or respect, politeness, like that type of stuff, focus on that, I think that that would be more desirable. And I always thought it was like, if you're highly educated or you have these amazing internal qualities that, again, traditional values, right away, those things would be the things that would really make a man go, wow. But it isn't, again, because the man is looking at you. So it's a visual thing to start. And then just exactly what you said, how he feels about you, if you make him feel good, if he feels appreciated and he feels like he's having a good time with you, he enjoys your company. I mean, those things are really good things to basically have the man experience about you. And I think just tying it back into what I was saying about women and getting married, I do say that because a lot of us have grown up on Disney movies, and so it's all about the princess, the princess fantasy and Prince Charming coming to save you and rescue you. So it's like that really has been kind of put into us since we were very know, very young girls. And who doesn't want to be a princess? I'd be happy being one.
[00:45:19] Speaker A: Yeah. No, I appreciate that. I appreciate you sharing that. I think Disney also has taught men that you have this princess out here that you're going to go save and you have to save her. And I think a lot of times, even me, I was stuck in danzle and distress, right? That there's always a damsel in distress and that you have to go save this damsel. Right. And that's really not your job as a man, is to go save danzils and distress.
Really, as men, it's your job to find women that are whole and then you whole and then you coming together. Right. And two whole people not two, half. I don't believe in a half half and make a whole. Right. I believe two whole people come together in that sense and do not say Daniel's in distress. A woman that's in distress, let her go. Handle that first. Right. Be supportive as much as you can, but that's not your job to fix people. Also, on the flip side, it's not a woman's job to fix a man in that sense. Like, hey, go to therapy, do what you need to do by yourselves and then come together. It makes a relationship a lot easier and a lot more fruitful, too, as well.
[00:46:32] Speaker B: Yeah, it totally does. I mean, if both people can come as a complete person, I think that's fantastic. However, I will tell you, generally speaking, again, women love to fix men. So we see the potential in the man going, we could take him to the next level, we can give him a makeover, we can make him this way, we can make him that way. So I think it's kind of wired in us to do that. And as far as saving a woman, I think what you were saying with a woman who's not reached her 100 percentness, her completeness within herself, definitely that's not a good idea. But I think for somebody who is complete in themselves, we do have situations in life that occur that are out of our control. And there are times when we really do need somebody to come on in and be that Prince Charming, and I welcome that 100%. I mean, I think that's fantastic. I would love a man who's like that.
[00:47:28] Speaker A: Yeah. So you said you like a man that's like a Prince Charming coming and save the day.
[00:47:34] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:47:37] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:47:38] Speaker B: I'm old fashioned like that. I mean, I really am, and I love it. I just think it's what a man is wired to do as far as the protector and the provider. And I think just to see that man demonstrate that and actually come through, I think is just really it's a dream come true. I mean, it's fabulous. I would love that man forever.
[00:47:59] Speaker A: Yeah.
But I think the one thing I do want to point out is that you're whole, right, and I think that's the main premise, right. Like, two people coming together, two whole people coming together, because I don't see a man coming into your life doing everything for you and then you sitting down and just saying, all right, thank you. Right, well, I'm just going to be here. I'm just pretty so this is why I'm here, right? I think that's my thing.
[00:48:33] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, I think it's more like just what you're saying. If you can add value to somebody's life, obviously you want to do that. You want to be valuable, and you also want to just enhance a person's life. So I think, going back to what you're saying, if a man truly desires a woman who's beautiful, who's his type, somebody who respects him, admires him, appreciates him, I think in demonstrating those qualities as a woman to the man on a consistent basis, I think that is really something that would make a man feel good and happy. And if you're bringing happiness to his life, I think that's invaluable yeah, that.
[00:49:14] Speaker A: Add value part is huge.
And the reason why I say that is because even myself well, not even myself, but in the 1% man, I always tell men like, hey, man, become the most valuable version of yourself, like the ultimate man, right? And once you do that, everyone around you benefits. Right? Because naturally, I believe the reason why I attract the caliber of women I attract, and the type of tracking now in my life is because I've done so much work on me, and I'm so valuable to the marketplace. And also it's a certain mystique that comes on you when you've done the work, right? The way you function, the way you talk, the way you just do everything that other people notice it themselves, so much so that you're just kind of like, oh, wow.
I sometimes don't recognize it, but other people recognize it within you.
And I've met some women, too, like you, for example. I've met you, and when I met you, and I was just like, wow, this is really dope as chick. Okay, cool. We kept talking. I was like, yeah, okay.
And then as we started communicating, I was like, okay, cool.
Yeah.
I don't know what it does, but I think in a good way, in a very good way, it kind of makes you, as a man, want to do more for that person.
[00:50:38] Speaker B: You know what I mean yes, exactly. And it's like it feeds into itself, like a cycle that feeds into itself. So it's like, the more a man does for the woman, then the woman's appreciative, and then the more she wants to do for him. You just naturally want to do that, and it just makes for, again, just a more enhanced life. And you're, like, taking your life to the next level where life has meaning and it has more color to it, as opposed to being dull and boring. And I know a lot of men don't like dull and boring. They want some excitement and kind of something that will make them feel better about themselves and just about living.
[00:51:16] Speaker A: Yeah, I think we all want someone that has a growth mindset, someone that's always growing, someone that never wants to just be the same person every single day.
The 1%, we always say, like, progress over perfection, right? Every single day, 1% better.
And that just makes, I think, everyone. This morning, I had a conversation with my accountability partner, and I was like, man, if I have to reinvent myself, I'll keep reinventing myself until I become who I'm supposed to be.
And I think the type of woman I want on my side is the type of woman that wants the same thing right. That's willing to reinvent herself as many times as she needs to reinvent herself. And I'll support her 100% to go do be whoever she wants to be. And I'll even finance that 100% because I want her to be the greatest woman she can be before we both leave this earth.
[00:52:14] Speaker B: Right. You can sign me up for that, Bertrand. I'll take that.
But, yeah, I mean, I agree with you. I agree with you on that 100%. And I think, too, if you're with somebody and you have a common goal, a common goal, a common purpose, a common vision, something that you can together do that brings you together, unites you in that way, something bigger than both of you, I think that that is really a real key. I mean, it's really nice, because then it helps both of you take it to the next level personally and then also toward whatever it is that you want to achieve.
[00:52:55] Speaker A: Yeah, I love that.
Danielle, before we go here, I would like you to share what's the best way that people can get in contact with you? They've heard you speak, and they're like, you know what? I want to hear more about what you have going on, or even how to work with you on a one on one basis.
[00:53:18] Speaker B: Yes, I would say the best way they can just reach me by phone. I mean, I'm open to saying hello to anybody that would like to say hello personally or professionally, so they can reach me on my toll free number, which is 8884-3264. So it's 8884 Danny Dani and then they can also feel free to visit the website if they like, as well, which is just myfulname.com Daniellesdia.com, and it's spelled Danielleseadia.com.
[00:53:52] Speaker A: Yes. I'll make sure that we put that in the show notes for everyone.
Daniel, it's been such a great conversation, and you are the second person, actually, to give your phone number on the podcast. We almost have almost 100 episodes. You're the second person ever to give out your phone number on the podcast.
[00:54:10] Speaker B: Oh, well, there you go. And it's been a pleasure. I'm so happy we were able to connect today because I really am so excited for your podcast and so happy that you are staying true to yourself and doing your mission, doing you and having such success with this podcast. I think it's fantastic. So I just wish you more and more success, and may it continue on and on and on.
[00:54:37] Speaker A: Whatever you just gave me, I want double for you. So I appreciate that, Daniel, so much, and I appreciate all the guests that are coming down the pipeline from you as well, and your organization. So, yeah, this has been very fruitful. And then, Daniel, before we go, I want to give you the last word.
Is there anything you want to share with the listeners before we stop this?
[00:54:59] Speaker B: Sure. I mean, I want to say to all the men and the women listening, really, I believe in all of you. I believe in you. Even though I don't know you, I haven't met you. I believe in the potential within you. And I believe that really, truly, that you can do it, like whatever it is you want to do. If you want to be a better version of you, meet a person that's right for you, just please, just take the chance. Just do it and then see the results. And if you have to keep course correcting, just course correct, but keep going, because you do have it within you.
[00:55:36] Speaker A: Love that. Totally agree with you. And you heard it here first. Your legacy starts today. And Danielle. See you later. Bye.
